My dear friend Carolyn is slipping away. Saw her last Sunday and she was sitting on the couch, had some make-up on and smiled. Told her several people asked about her and that made her smile. She was looking a bit jaundice and now as of Friday her complexion is getting more yellow. Starting to retain water now and losing more weight, not forming words,etc.
I just pray that God will take her home soon. Bruce is starting to wear down also now.
A is being stubborn and hurting herself as she is not drinking enough water and not eating. Been telling her that she needs to drink more, really ever since I got her have been after her to drink water now it is catching up with her as she has a UTI, and dehydrated and the back pain is her kidneys hurting. She won't do what any of us are asking her to do she is sabbatoging her health. I find myself not having much compassion for her as she is not helping herself. She has medication she can take to help settle her stomach so she can eat but she refuses, chooses to lay in bed and complain.
Went to bed last night and wept. Wept for my friend and for myself. So trying to have faith that God is going to release my finances and not let me lose my home or my truck. Played several scenes over in my head about being a homeless person or how could I walk away from everything and live off the earth. Sounds funny doesn't it. The reality of this is around the corner if God does not send more kids to the Bair office and place one with me and allow me to find a part time job. Did not think I would be in this situation again, thought I would have enough money to pay my bills and have some to take the kids out and do things with them but since I don't have my part time job at RGMG as of this writing I am in a world of hurt.
I feel I am suppose to be a foster parent but maybe I missed the mark. My thought is I will try to work full time, rent my spare bedroom and go through CYFD, regular foster care. I will need to rent a room as I don't think I will start off at a high rate of pay like I was getting at RGMG so will need enough money to pay my bills.
Good night and be blessed
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