The End of The Day

My dear friend Carolyn is slipping away. Saw her last Sunday and she was sitting on the couch, had some make-up on and smiled. Told her several people asked about her and that made her smile. She was looking a bit jaundice and now as of Friday her complexion is getting more yellow. Starting to retain water now and losing more weight, not forming words,etc.
I just pray that God will take her home soon. Bruce is starting to wear down also now.

A is being stubborn and hurting herself as she is not drinking enough water and not eating. Been telling her that she needs to drink more, really ever since I got her have been after her to drink water now it is catching up with her as she has a UTI, and dehydrated and the back pain is her kidneys hurting. She won't do what any of us are asking her to do she is sabbatoging her health. I find myself not having much compassion for her as she is not helping herself. She has medication she can take to help settle her stomach so she can eat but she refuses, chooses to lay in bed and complain.

Went to bed last night and wept. Wept for my friend and for myself. So trying to have faith that God is going to release my finances and not let me lose my home or my truck. Played several scenes over in my head about being a homeless person or how could I walk away from everything and live off the earth. Sounds funny doesn't it. The reality of this is around the corner if God does not send more kids to the Bair office and place one with me and allow me to find a part time job. Did not think I would be in this situation again, thought I would have enough money to pay my bills and have some to take the kids out and do things with them but since I don't have my part time job at RGMG as of this writing I am in a world of hurt.
I feel I am suppose to be a foster parent but maybe I missed the mark. My thought is I will try to work full time, rent my spare bedroom and go through CYFD, regular foster care. I will need to rent a room as I don't think I will start off at a high rate of pay like I was getting at RGMG so will need enough money to pay my bills.

Good night and be blessed

The End of The Day

Not the end of the day as of yet, just thought I would add a line or two since I have not written anything in a long time. Rought going with my foster daughter there for awhile, she decided she wanted to start smoking the weed again and popping whatever she could get her hands on for free so streeful days not knowing if she was going back to jail or back to rehab. Probabtion officer did put her in jail over the week-end in May for being positive for marijuana and pcp.
Her attitiude is so what. Unless she wants to quit we can't help her.
She has been with me a year now, that is progress as she has run within months of being placed in other foster homes.

I myself am trying not to worry about finances, looking for a part time job, praying that I can get another child but none are coming in, that is a hoot as when I signed up several people kept telling me that there are so many kids and not enough parents, well are parents are going back to job hunting full time as we are not getting the kids in and this is where I am I may have to go back to work somewhere full time, won't make what I was so don't know if I will lose my home or not or be able to keep the bills up.

Wish I knew that were was a lack of kids before I quit my full time good paying job.